Political Time Out…

In today’s episode I discuss taking a time out from politics. I don’t want to bury my head and never speak of politics again. But for now, I need a break. I want to focus on the good. The good going on in the world.  
I also talk about changing my name. I have always wanted to change my name. I discuss the poor quality of this podcast, the power of positivity and the fact animals are the BEST! 
Last, I discuss my claim that most humans are pretty decent. 
What’s been keeping me up? My need for positivity. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Ramblings of an Insomniac. I am Courtney. Courtney? I really enunciated the damn Courtney. Courtney. My name's so dumb. I'm sorry, Mom. I love you, I do, but I don't like and I guess I shouldn't say that because there's other people with my name. And that makes me sound like a dickhole. But I'm not a fan, honestly. I mean, when I was a kid, if you shortened my name, my nickname would be Court. And that's kind of dumb. Court. Court. Court. I don't know. That's silly. But nobody called me that. They actually called me Nin, like N-I-N, like nine-inch nails. That's not what it stood for. It's a long story. But and then I got called Cork, like the bottle of, you know, a cork bottle, cork, you know, not a fan, also. And then um, what is that? Obladi, obl life goes on. Um, corky. Um, people tried to call me that. No. Um, my dad and my aunt were the only people alive that could call me cork, and nobody could call me quirky, and it had nothing to do with the character because he's a lovely person, and I honestly wish more people um were like people that had Down syndrome because people with Down syndrome are the kindest, sweetest. My kids' aunt has Down syndrome, and I personally have worked with Special Olympics and have cared for people with Down syndrome, and I'm telling you, the world needs to be more like them because you want to talk about amazing people. There you go. Anyway, I didn't mean to say Courtney. I'm Courtney, but hi. I used to want to change my name, and then I was like, I was legally gonna change my name, honestly. Um, but I was like, what would I change it to? And back in the day, I wanted the name Briar, like Briar as in Briar Rose from Sleeping Beauty, although that's not really what it's from. But I really liked that name. In fact, if I had a girl, I wanted to name her Briar Elizabeth or Eleanor, it had a lot of names. I had a million girl names picked out, a million, but Briar was one of them, and that's what we were gonna do is Briar Eleanor or Briar Elizabeth. I love that name. But I was like, no one's gonna call me that if I change my name when I'm a grown adult. All of my friends that know me as Courtney are going to call me Courtney. I have a friend, I love you, Elica, if you're listening. See, I just called you Elika because I'm nice, but I have a friend if she's listening. Her real name is Elika. That's her birth name. Her mom's Japanese, her dad is born and raised in America. Um, her name, her legal name is Elika. And when she was a kid, when she was a little girl, um, like in third grade, when she was in third grade, she started going by Erica because it was more American and she wanted to have more of an American name because you know this is in the 80s and she was young and didn't want to stick out, and um and she looked more on the Asian side, and so she kind of wanted to just go by Erica, and plus people couldn't pronounce her name and they butchered it and they said it wrong. But when I met her, which was in seventh grade, so this is like 1986 or something like that, um, I was introduced to her and she introduced herself to me as Erica. So I knew her as Erica until I got to know her family, and then her family um informed me that her name was Elika, and that's what they called her. And then I had known her from Erica, Erica, Erica, until she moved away when we were 18. So for six years, she was one of my very best friends in the world. It wasn't like we were just casual acquaintances. We went to a small high school, not that many people, and a small junior high, not that many people. I knew her as Erica, Erica, Erica, or Alika from her parents. Well, then she moved away and I went to call her one day. This is back when there were landlines, folks. Back when there were landlines. Pardon me, me, me, me, hoo hoo hoo, pardon me, goodness. Back when there were landlines, and I called, and her roommate answered, and I was like, Hi, may I speak to Erica? And they were like, Oh, sorry, wrong number. There's no Erica here. And I was like, wait, is the number? And I read it off, and they were like, Yeah, and I was like, Erica, and then I said her last name, and they were like, Well, a person with the last name lives here, but her name is Ellie. And I was like, What? Who the heck's Ellie? And I thought, all right, maybe that's her nickname for Elica. You know, maybe she was going by Ellie. So she gets on the phone and I'm like, Erica, what do you do? And she's like, I go by Ellie now, or Elica. And I was like, What? I've known you for six years as Erica, and by then we're adults. And excuse me. By the way, this is like two years after she moved. So this was when she was like 20. So I had known her for like eight years as Erica or Alika, and suddenly she's I don't live by her anymore. I don't, so therefore, I don't see her face to face. So it made it harder because it's not like I got to see her in person all the time to practice calling her by her new name. I didn't get any practice. She lived six hours away from me, so we always just talked on the phone or texted. We didn't, well, back then there wasn't texting and shit, but um, but we would talk on the phone, excuse me, gosh, sorry. So I wasn't used to, I didn't have practice calling her by this. Well, the people there, you know, she introduced herself as that unbeknownst to me. I didn't know that right when she moved there, she had been going by Ellie and Aleka, but she just let me call herself Erica, and she didn't tell me that she had changed her name. So I had no idea. So I'd been calling her that, and then suddenly, you know, she's like, by the way, I go by and I was like, oh. And I to this day she gets angry with me, and I'm like, look, your choices are so then we have a nickname, and I call her by her nickname now, and I don't even call her by her given names because I think it's a little bit of a touchy subject because I just can't do it. So my point to that is here I am a grown-ass adult. I can't just suddenly, all of a sudden, do that. That's gonna be super weird, you know. I can't just all of a sudden, sorry, taking up the whole thing. Um, sorry, I was talking to somebody. I can't just all of a sudden call myself Briar or you know, whatever name. Because people that have known me as Courtney forever are not gonna remember to say that, and I probably won't answer. They would say it, and I'd be like, who the hell is Briar? Who are they talking to? And I wouldn't know. I wouldn't have the slightest idea, and so it's pointless. But I love my mom and anybody else that has the name Courtney, it's a lovely name. I'm sure that um I'm I want you to love your name, be proud of your name, wear it with honor. But when something's yours, you know, it's like the grass is always greener. Maybe if my name were Briar, I would want it to be Courtney.

unknown 7:31

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Do you guys love how yet again I start my podcast and I'm just like, hi, I'm Courtney, welcome to Ramblings on the Sumnet, and then boom, I hit ya. I just like, sorry you're gonna hear a cop it sounds like in the background. I just boom start talking to you. I do not even like take a beat. I don't take a beat. I don't like calm down for a second and ease into it. I just immediately, immediately start talking. And I certainly should not do that. I need to not just start talking. I need to like take a breath and you know, ease you guys into my podcast, not just suddenly, you know, say it and not even not even ease you into it. I'm sorry, I got sidetracked by a house apartment thing that I'm trying to figure out, and I'm like, huh. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Uh, that was not a gunshot, that's cars backfiring. Remember, you guys are gonna hear it all on here. Don't worry. That's not those aren't guns. It's something backfiring, it's a car backfiring. Um, not a gun. But uh anyway. Um, so after all of that, you're like, okay. So if you haven't listened to my podcast before, there you go. It's probably not gonna get a whole lot better than that, folks. I talk about all kinds of things. Um, first of all, if this is your first time joining, hello, hello, hello, welcome, welcome, everybody, welcome. Um, and if this is your millionth time, if you've been here since the beginning, you fucking rock. You rock my socks. You're freaking amazing. Look at yourself in the mirror, point at yourself in the mirror, and be like, fuck yeah, I'm the shit. Because you are. You're a badass, and I appreciate you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And if this is your second or 40th or whatever, no matter what, you're a badass. I'm not trying to exclude you. I'm sure you're all fucking rocking it today. I think you should all check yourself out in the mirror and be like, damn right, I'm fucking awesome. That's right, because you are, and you should, you should think that. Unless you're an asshole, unless you're a piece of shit, then maybe don't don't give yourself credit. Maybe don't give yourself self-affirmations because you know, we don't want to promote being an asshole. And speaking of, it does seem like there are groups of people that promote shadiness and assholiness and ignorance and depression. And how terrible. Why would someone want to promote any of those things? Why? Why do you want to be miserable? Why are you miserable and then you want other people to feel it? I mean, I understand for a moment if you're angry and you're just like, God, I'm so tired of this. My life sucks all the time, I'm sick of it, and it seems like so-and-so has it good all the time, and I'm tired of, you know, it seems like they were born with a silver spoon up their butt, and life seems to be so good to them. I get how maybe the thought would cross your mind where you're like, God, I wish so-and-so or this group of people would understand what hardship is like, and I wish they would have to work for stuff and blah blah blah. But why would you want someone to live in the same state as you? Unless they're like some terrorist, horrendous, you know, serial killer pedo or something. But otherwise, any normal person, why would you want to do that? Misery-loving company. It's sad company to keep, right? I mean, I get it again. I get depressed, I get bitter, I get resentful, I get negative. We all do, like I promote on every podcast. Feel your feelings. I get it. I get when people have those feelings and they're there to feel. You should. But you definitely don't need to turn them into bitterness and resent and revenge. I was watching the Count of Monte Cristo, and revenge can really get away from you, you know? Revenge can genuinely get away from you and cause a lot of issues for yourself as well as the people you're trying to get revenge on. And of course, you don't care if it causes problems for them, because that's your entire goal. Your goal is to make sure they are miserable. But there is such a thing as going too far, and really an eye for an eye, and we'd all be blind, right? Is that Gandhi, Buddha? I don't know. Someone. Someone with common sense, which we also are lacking, sadly. But we can't spend our time just constantly being angry and resentful and trying to get back at people. Man, I've been there. I've wanted it. God, I've wanted it. I have really. At the same time, though, I it's just who who are you doing it for in the end? And what happens? Like, what does that do for your own mental health and your own physical health? And who are you setting an example for? And if you're religious, aren't you scared you're going to be judged? I'm pretty sure, you know, most gods. Doesn't sound like if you're certain religions maybe, it's not a taboo thing, but most religions frown upon revenge. So uh let me tell you, I've wanted revenge. I there are some people who I have a list. I have a list of people that I genuinely would love nothing more than to make their life miserable and ruin them. But uh, I don't want to be that person. I don't then I'm no better than they are, and I don't want to be like them. Ew. As Jimmy Fallon would say. It's no, sorry, I'm breathing heavy. I'm on a walk again. And but so you're gonna hear that's why you're hearing a lot of stuff. I'm walking in a crowded neighborhood, a busy neighborhood. So you're hearing different noises today than usual. Taking you guys on a different tour than you're used to. Different sounds, you know, because you know I like to mix it up on this podcast. You just never know. I'm a wildcard. Wildcard. You just never know what you're gonna get. You don't know if you're gonna get politics, religion, you don't know if you're gonna get family stuff, you don't know if you're gonna get dog stuff, you don't know. Work stuff, you never know on this podcast. That's why it's always good to listen to every episode. Because if you don't like politics, that's okay. I have a podcast for you. I have stuff about family, I have stuff about animals, I have stuff about religion, I have stuff about everything. So if you don't like one podcast, or excuse me, one episode, if you don't like one of my episodes, well, try another. And if you don't like any of them, hey, I appreciate you even trying me out. I appreciate even checking out this silly thing. I'm aware it's silly. I'm talking into my cell phone, you guys. I'm talking into my cell phone, and then I upload it from my cell phone onto the computer. Not even on computer, I uh I do everything from my cell phone. I talk on um, I use my cell phone to speak into, and I upload my stuff from my cell phone. That's why the quality sucks, and that and I don't edit, so you hear right now there's drilling in the background. That's obnoxious for you. I'm sure of it. You're like, Jesus, that's annoying. But sometimes you'll hear cool stuff like cicadas and crickets and coyotes and owls and waterfalls and rivers and now you're gonna hear car. Alright, see? But you'll hear birds. You will hear lightning, and I mean not lightning, you're not gonna hear lightning, that'd be rad. My podcast would be amazing if you could hear the lightning. I think I saw this meme that said something like, I drank a Red Bowl and coffee. I now hear colors, or I taste colors, or something like that. I thought that was prte prte prtepana. Curb your enthusiasm. Anyone get that? Anyway. So, as per the usual, I did not have any idea um when I started this podcast what the hell I was gonna talk about. Did not have an agenda, I don't have a script today. I just was taking a dog, one of my customers' dogs, on a walk, and figured, hey, I know I will take her on a walk and do a podcast. Two birds, right? But now I'm like, okay, the problem is, nope, we're gonna keep going. Well, um, the problem is I have no idea what to talk about. I I'm kind of steering clear of politics. Reason, couple reasons. I take a break because I find myself getting so sucked in. Like I get, I get really sucked in and I get ticked, I get cranky, I get negative, and then I start only seeing the negative. You know, it's like if you see, if you say yellow taxi, you know, if you go, don't look at yellow taxis, do not look at yellow taxis. Well, now all you're gonna forking see are yellow frickin' taxis, right? So I was like, don't don't think about politics, don't be negative, don't be negative. But then I kept um watching videos, political videos, and watching people just be shitty to each other. And I I just can't right now. I can't. So right now I'm uneducated, I'm very ignorant on what's going on in the world. I'm assuming it's all the same thing. Everybody's pissed off over everything, and it's everybody else's fault, and no one's taking accountability. No one's everybody's pointing fingers and a lot of lying, a lot of claims, a lot of accusations, not a lot of proof, not a lot of evidence, a lot of drama, I'm assuming, you know. Same crap, different day. So I've been taking a break. Um, I've been watching fun videos. I've been watching a lot of beekeeping videos, a lot of cute animal videos. I've been looking at a lot of photography, um, a lot of business videos for when I get my kennel up and going. I cannot wait for that. Um, I have a wait list, which is awesome. I love that I have a wait list. Um, shout out to all of my customers because I am so happy that I still get to see them. I'm excited that I still get to hang out with my customers, not just on a work capacity. I go on walks with them, I eat dinner with them, I go to church. Um I will go to church with them. I get invited to stuff on a non-work, non-professional basis, and then I continue to be able to see my customers on a professional basis as well. And I love it because I don't know what I would do if I didn't have those group of people to help support and motivate me and then animals around me. I don't know how people can't love some animal, some type of animal. I get if you're scared of dogs or scared of horses or whatever. Um, I don't get how you can say I don't like dogs or like horses. I get how you can maybe say I'm fearful. But um, but you I have to have a pet around. I have to have animals around me. They make me sane. And you guys are gonna be like, sane? You're not sane. Sane is the last thing that you are. Sane is not a word I would use to describe you, Courtney. But I assure you, I am. I feel like Sheldon Cooper on Big Bang when he's like, and I'm not crazy. I know. My mom had me tested. I feel like I should be like, I'm not crazy, I know. I've gone to many counselors. Um, I'm not crazy, I'm very stable. Anyway, so I just I when I'm around people face to face, there are far, I mean, in the place that I live, anyways, in the area that I am around and where I have been, um I have experienced 95% of the time people being good and kind and respectful. And 95% of the time people say hello and they look you in the eyes and they greet you, and if I'm wearing a shirt that offends them, they don't say anything and they don't give me a dirty look. At the most, they may roll their eyes or something, but that's it, who cares? I can roll my eyes too. So I like to try to stay in the real world and keep myself grounded and remind myself that you know, not to get sucked into the negative, not to think that everybody is shitty, because that's not a way to live. That's not a way to live if we just aren't getting along, we think everybody's shitty, because that's not the truth. And just because someone has different beliefs than you, um, different religion, different gender, different sexual orientation, that does not mean anything. We can jump to conclusions, we can we can make accusations, we can insert all kinds of made-up crap about someone. But that's just it. It's made-up crap that we are just somehow deciding that you know, for someone else. We're speaking on behalf of another person, and we know that we would not like it if someone did that to us. We don't like it when other people speak for us. At least me. I guess okay, I guess that's me speaking. If you guys were like, it sounds like you're speaking for us. Okay, you got me. I'm gonna speak for myself and say I don't like it when people speak on behalf. Of me. I have a big mouth. Let me tell you. Anybody that knows me or has been listening to this podcast can be like, yep, she knows truth. Um, so I do a great job at speaking for myself. I don't need others to interpret, to interpret. They don't need to do an interpretive dance or you know, sign language and try to, you know, like make me a lighter version, a more PG version. You know, I don't need people to tone me down. Um, so I've just been keeping off the politics because and the negative in general, not just politics. I've been just trying to stay out of that negative head space. Um, doesn't really achieve a lot, doesn't really do much other than keep me unproductive and cranky and thinking that the world sucks and the world doesn't suck. There are sucky things that are going on in the world and there are sucky people, that's for sure. There are people that suck and there are shitty situations in the world that are going on that are sad and um you know aggravating and scary, but people as a whole, I feel like have been pretty darn great, and I don't want to lose track of that. I really don't because if you start losing hope in humanity, then where are you gonna go? Where are you gonna go? If you start losing hope in yourself and humanity, man, you have nothing. We don't want that. The FIFA, the World Cup was just absolutely amazing because talk about a show of humil humility and humbleness, you know, and a good time and happiness and spreading that cheer and letting your guard down and diversity and acceptance and not judging. What an amazing environment. I don't want to leave that environment. That's such a high. It's such a rush. I love that. I want to continue on that momentum. That's the that's the way I want to go. And I have grandkids and I have a family. I don't want to pass on this, I don't want them to look back and be like, God, grandma was always so negative, or man, my mom got real negative toward the end. I don't want that. That's not how I want people to remember me. Not at all. So, anyway, I think that's all. Those are some things milling around in my brain. Is it milling around? Rolling around? I don't know. Milling around in my brain. Um are you guys up? How are you sleeping? Are you getting sleep? Are you happy? Do you like where you live? Do you do you like the environment? Um have you been keeping up with politics in your neck of the woods? Maybe in your neck of the woods you have to. You know, if you're in the Ukraine, if you're in certain areas of the country, you kind of have to, but that's the luxury of being an American. We are privileged. No matter what color you are, you're privileged as an American. Even if you're homeless in America, you're privileged. People are gonna be like, oh, oh shut up. I already did a whole podcast about it. Listen to it, you'll see where I'm coming from. Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much for everybody tuning in. You guys are amazing. You rock my socks, you genuinely do. Check out YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, all the good stuff. Um, and tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell a coworker, tell a partner, tell a family member, um, and you know, to keep listening to my podcast. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate you guys so much. Remember to control what you can, control what you can. If you have a solution, great, put it into action. If you have a solution, unleash it. Unlease this, unleash the solutions. Um, and uh let go of all of the other malarkey. Let go of all the hooey. Even if it's hard, it's hard to let go of things. But if you can't control it, you don't have a solution, then gotta let it go. And then put it on the back burner until there is a solution. Breathe in through your nose, breathe out through your mouth, and um keep listening to my podcast. Until next time.